Twitter can be completely inane if you're following the wrong people. Or too overwhelming if you follow people who are too tweet-happy. The latter is the case for me. Sometimes, the tweets are much too TMI - sorry friends, but I don't care to hear about your bodily functions, or that of your baby's, no matter how cute or adorable is the said baby.
So when I find an awesome Twitter account that is filled with great tweets, I have to thank God for the creativity of these people. In this case, I want to honor "shitmydadsays" - one of the most entertaining, interesting, and personality-filled Twitterers out there. Actually, the credit is not even due to Justin, the Twitterer, but to his 73 year-old dad, who apparently utters strings of the funniest, craziest, and most memorable words. Here are some samples from the tweets:
"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."
"I didn't live to be 73 years old so I could eat kale. Don't fix me your breakfast and pretend you're fixing mine."
"Tennessee is nice. The first time I vomited was in tennessee, I think."
"Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"
Yo, Justin's dad, keep up the good work! I want to hear more from you! Heck I want to meet you and make a documentary of you! You'll probably tell me to fuck off, or ask Justin to tell me to fuck off, but I think you're awesome for your creative and expressive use of the English language.
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